I was a young woman. May be around 19 years old.
The Tribal Wedding
It was our maid who started this. It was her sister's wedding. She was the bridesmaid. I thought it was a normal wedding. But I was wrong. It was cosmic.
I was taken there by my maid. We lived in the city. She took me to her village. I thought of wearing a skirt and blouse being 19. But maid said "No, saree is must", and with and with specific jewelleries. There was no space for personal show off. It was cutting of freedom in a way. Choice was removed.
I ran to my mother and complained. When the maid came there, I moved behind my mother. I stood half hidden behind her. She had always been my shield. My fort.
The maid stood before us and and asked me. "Do you think this woman can shield you from the calling?"
Then she looked at mother and said. "Step away girl, you are not part of this, at least for now"
The use of the word girl emphasised that she looks at my mother as someone who is not fully matured to understand what is happening.
But my mother being my mother, said. "Leave my girl if she is not willing"
The maid replied. "You belong to the tribe. Surrender to the woman who lives by the ways of the tribe".
Hearing this, my mother walked a few steps closer to the maid, kneeled and placed her forehead on the floor.
The maid looked at me and said. "Look at your shield" I looked down at mother. I felt exposed. There was nothing to protect me. What I thought would always protect me has submitted to something superior.
What is the point of rebelling. I realised that the maid standing before me is not to be rebelled but to be understood by aligning.
My family was from the tribal linage. Our maid was clear that I must return to my true home.
We reached the village the next day.
It was not just the union of a man and a woman, it was not about two families. It was about the whole village. It was like a festival.
They had built a hut made with mud on all sides including the roof. there was a small circular opening at the center of the roof.
Our maid pulled the pallu of my saree and put it over my head as ghunghat.
When I entered the hut I saw that there were only women. From my age to around mid fourty. All were seated in silence. Maid showed me a place and I sat there.
On the north wall was a wooden throne and on it was seated the groom. Dress only in a black dhoti. right leg on floor and left leg folded on to the throne.
My maid went out.
There were no other male inside.
His gaze was on the entrance at the south. For the arrival of his bride.
At the middle of the hut was a fire altar. Four women were seated on each side chanting and offering oil, camphor and herbs to the fire.
On the four corners of the hut were four wide mouthed pots filled with water with a red lotus floating on the surface.
The space inside the hut was obviously filled with air.
Earth was all around us. The floor, the walls and the roof.
Sky was above the hut, visible through the opening above the fire altar.
We were in the midst of the elements.
A girl of my age seated next to me whispered in my ears. this is the re enaction of the beginning of the word.
He is the physical manifestation of great nothingness, non existence, Maha Sunya. The great emptiness.
Then I heard conch shells being blown, and he opened his mouth wide. As soon as he opened his mouth, the bride came dashing in. She was dressed in the heaviest maroon lehenga I have ever seen. I must be dozens of kilograms in weight.
Every woman stood up and ululated except the four at the fire altar. I too joined, though I haven't done it before.
Then came my maid, she was the bridesmaid, and was also dressed in a lighter lehenga.
All the women there were dressed in silk sarees and ghunghat on head, irrespective of whether married or not. The bride and bridesmaid were in lehenga and had dupatta with veiling their heads.
When bride entered the hut, he closed his mouth.
The bridesmaid closed the entrance and sat stood there at the entrance.
The girl next to me whispered , "the bride is existence. look at her lehenga".
I saw the sun, the moon, the planets and the stars and all other realms as per their worldview depicted on her lehenga. It was a cosmic map.
"It is sacred burden". She said "Existence came into being when he opened his mouth. That which does not exist gave rise to that which exists".
The bride danced around the fire altar.
Then he opened the mouth again. The bride ran to him and bent before the open mouth. Then he closed his mouth.
We all kneeled and placed our forehead on the floor.
I was not told to do it. I did not see others do it. Yet I did it. Later I learned that all the women there did it.
When we did it, all went blank. We rose up after some time. He had opened his mouth again and the bride now danced to beats made by the women at the altar. She danced as per the jati beats. Then when the beats stopped, she sat on his folded left leg, accepting him as her base.
I was confused.
Then the girl whispered.
"She was dancing without the guidance of the source. She thought she was self made. Hence he swallowed her again. We all went blank as all existence ceased. Then he opened his mouth again to bring existence back again and now she has aligned herself to him.
She is his daughter and also his bride.
We are all extension of that same existence."
I was stunned by her explanation.
Then came another important ritual.
The bridesmaid approached the bride who was still seated on his left thigh.
The bridesmaid lifted the bride's heavy maroon silk veil.
The groom removed her maang tikka from her head and threw it into the fire.
He took some sindoor between his right thumb and index finger and filled her maang from the top of the forehead to the middle of her head.
The veil was placed back on her head by the bridesmaid.
Now she is a barya. A wife.
